Bound

  

What to do with crazy?

I know the answer

As soon as I ask it…

But I don’t remember at first.

– Hardly ever –

First my humanness bounds forward

– Quite in spite of me – 

– Practically without notice (leastways at first) –

Ever unreasonable

As deeply affected as ever 

(Didn’t say I was proud of all this

but there it is – your effect on me)

So I pace, pour a drink,

Desperate for distraction, alleviation

I get my hands busy 

A savory dinner

Asparagus and red potatoes and olive oil

Might chase away the ugly

Colors and scent and texture

Adorning and performing at their best 

For a down to earth return

An old favorite song reminds me

Of hope and light and life

A walk in the sunshine

The air thick with garlic and oregano 

Real and here.

But you’re real too.

Though far away

Still too close for comfort.

How I’ve given up all this power

– How all this goodness could be shadowed –

I don’t know

But fettered I am and can’t 

Discern if it’s love or its killer that binds me

What a shame these delights don’t suffice

In blanketing, distracting, or making me forget

What’s wrong with us

As long as we’re bound

I’m bound

And crazy

crazy – appearing absurdly out of place or in an unlikely position