Wondering if adding to the beauty
May also take from it.
Not always or necessarily, and thankfully not exclusively.
But if indulging one’s craft
Does more to contribute to self indulgence
(And this may be a given to some degree)
Then “adding to the beauty”
Is a misspeak.
Before one satisfies one’s desire to create, or pursue, or whatever,
There’s something of a decision:
Will I serve them, or will I serve me?
(One’s “craft” = one)
If I decide to serve me (one)
There may creep in an eventual sense of entitlement.
And if not acknowledged and made to stand in its
Truthful non-entitlement place,
May grow – quiet-like – but insidious.
And if not checked,
And then if not indulged,
The ‘I’s not indulged.
And if the I’s not indulged
It must be your fault.
And if the self can convince the self it’s your fault
– That it was somehow owed its “autonomy”
And not paid what it was owed –
Then you must be punished
– Whoever “you” are that was replaced, misplaced by my craft.
I might not tell you.
But quietly hold on to resentment
(When I didn’t quiet the voice’s demands, I got to stay mad and entitled)
Hold it, feed it, coddle it, start to act in its favor ‘stead of yours.
And soon, there’s no beauty to be seen,
No pure craft to be had.
Only I, me, my and the muddle of inanimate “craft” in my hands.